For this piece of writing I have focussing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to: -
- use a large productive vocabulary across the curriculum (Year 9/10)
- Use a wide range of punctuation appropriately and with increasing accuracy. (Year 9/10)
The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my punctuation goal
Here is my story, After Dark
I shiver slightly as a cold breeze blows my sandy coloured hair into a friz. Its silent all around me,apart from the noise of my converse slapping against the concrete. My breath comes out in a misty cloud, into the frosty air.
It's always cold lately, with it being winter and all. I wish I hadn't stayed late after school. I missed the bus but my friend,storm was desperate in need of help.
My mood sinks with the setting sun as it gets lower in the sky. I quicken my pace even more, in an attempt to cover more ground before dark.
I am now surrounded by pitch black, with the faint glow of the street lamps. I walk up to my front door and sigh in relief.
My shaking hands search for keys in my pockets, coming up empty handed. I frown and search through my school bag. Again I come up empty handed.
I start to panic slightly, nerves crawling up my throat. My brain starts to come up with all the possibilities. My panicked mind starts to exaggerate, causing my heartbeat to accelerate. “well, crap.”I breathe out.
I breathe heavily looking around for answers but of course, coming up with none. That is until I spot my possible savior, a window. I rush to the window, hooking my fingers under it and tugging. Finding it locked.
“ well,double crap.” I mutter angrily. I check all of the windows around the house but of course, they were all locked.
I tried the back door knowing it was locked but hoping, no praying it wasn’t. But with my amazing luck(note my sarcasm) it was. I groan in frustration.
That is when in one moment the skies open and it starts to rain. I pull the hood of my jacket up and run back around to the front veranda. I shiver from the cold.
I don’t know why but I decided right then and there that my only option was to wait for my parents. I also realised that they were on holiday until next week; leaving her here for 3 days, as it was thursday.
In my annoyance I had started to walk down the road I didn’t realise until I saw headlights coming towards me. But going straight past me because I was on the footpath. I huffed in anger and continue walk because why not?
Another car drives past the headlights temporarily blinding me. I shake my head trying to get my vision back to normal. When I can see normally again I realize the car is coming back towards me again and frown in confusion.
“ Rain!? Is that you!?!?"a familiar voice yelled from the car. With the dim of the street lamp, I could make out the cheery face of my good friend ,sarah.
“ sarah!” I exclaim wide eyed. She stops on the side of the road and gets out to give me a hug.
“ Hey girl, I saw you at school today why are you out here after dark?” she asks me and so I tell her the whole story.
“wow…” she exclaims after I explain it to her. I blink up at her with my bright green eyes. She has a thinking look on her face as she twirls her chocolate coloured hair.
“ Well, how about you stay at my house for a few days. Just until your parents get back or you find your keys; Just think of it as an extended sleep over.” Sarah says with a small smile.
I nod my head and let out a squeal. “Can we invite Storm?” I ask pulling her into a hug. She nods and barks out a laugh. This causes me to laugh and soon we are just a giggling heap on the side of the road.
When we have calmed down a little bit, we jump into her car and drive to her house. In the car we decide I'll borrow her clothes and we texted Storm and she met us there.
When we get out of the car to see storm is waiting at the door and we go inside. “ so why is this happening? I know you wouldn't call me over out of the blue with no reason.” Storm asks curiously.
So I explain my story for the second time tonight this time with a smile on my face and a laugh bubbling in my throat.